Here's what's been running through my head lately...

I wrote this at around 11 PM last night, and I felt like sharing it:

I was in Poland a year ago. An entire year ago. I find that so hard to
believe. Yet today is Kaf Daled Adar, and on this day a year ago I was in Warsaw with my classmates.

When I got back from Poland, I felt that it had been a great and important experience, but I had no desire to go back there. Once is enough, I felt. I decided that if the opportunity to return ever arose, I would turn it down. I was also very sensitive, to just about everything- especially references to the Holocaust or to suffering. A few months later, I felt the sensitivity and the sheer impact of the trip starting to wear off. Yes, I still hate references to Nazism and such, much more than I did before my trip, and I still have my new understanding of the size of the Holocaust. But that was all I had. That was when I found myself changing my mind about going back there. If I ever get the chance, maybe I will take it. Because the Holocaust is not something to forget and move on.

Ever since I felt those feelings disappearing, I’ve been making an effort to take advantage of anything that brings me back there. When I hear music we listened to in Poland, I put my head down and let it conjure images in my mind of places where so much was lost for the Jewish People. This week, every day I’ve stopped and thought about where I was a year ago. I remember the tears, the dancing and the very long bus rides. And I just think about what an incredible experience it all was.

Tonight there is a big thunderstorm going on over here. We’ve been without power for over and hour. I’m sitting here writing this by the light of a candle, and it’s taking me back…

In other unrelated news, it's been snowing on and off today, along with rain and hail. This is our second snow this winter, and it was actually a pretty warm winter, not to mention that snow in mid-march is quite unusual around here. That said, I have a massive test tomorrow and would have been home anyway! And I didn't have time to go out, although I'm not sure how nice it would have been outside. It still frustrated me, especially when the rest of my family was watching a movie, complete with hot chocolate, and I was up here studying...